Why do I stop myself from cursing you? I cannot adequately express my anger toward your god. I have, since my youth, been utterly disgusted by this intergenerational failure of intellect. Why would you give up everything you have for this temporal bullshit; capitalism and christianity. And why would you put it before your blood? The god that justifies ripping a family apart due to some mandatory obedience is no god but flawed. I feel sorry for you only slightly more than you disgust me. Where is your forgiveness?
Space and Chess
It’s been challenging to keep this up and meet my first big deadline of the year. I’ve managed to find peace with my level of engagement and ability. When I’m working on a project I typically have to put everything into it to get it done. While I don’t want to get too wonky about it, I find that there is an underlying process or formula that influences the why’s of this.
I play chess. Not very well, but I play. What I enjoy about the game is the analysis; going through as many scenarios as possible to anticipate potential outcomes one the board and influence them. That’s what I do to complete a project as well. When it is design and layout, when I’m opening up space and populating it (which sounds a little manifest destiny creepy), I’m using a similar method to anticipate distribution.
Impressions
Uncommon
Freewrite. There is a strange thing that happens when I struggle to find words. My mind throws randoms; start with this, what about that? The people who are most vested in your demise will say anything to tear you down. I’ve stayed out of larger community groups because the way most people do community is invasive. Stream of consciousness. There is a place where I go, that only I know, so far away. There’s a place where I go there when I get there I will stay. There is a place where I let myself be on occasion, when I am not forever more in the out door.